I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
