turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
