remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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