Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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