matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
