im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am one with the molecules
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
