oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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