dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
