I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
