it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
