its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
