yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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