i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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