whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
