Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just shotgunned beers for America
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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