Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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