PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
