weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
