I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
