Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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