That's when you crack a 10am beer
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
