he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
