i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
