I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
