Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
