u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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