I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
