if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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