I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do herpes really smell.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
