don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wear drunk well.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
