Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
