Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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