Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
