I think I am morally bankrupt
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
