well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
