bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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