birth control should be required to get into college
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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