NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
