dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
