thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
