so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
