i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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