Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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(770): View more from Georgia

So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

(404): View more from Georgia

Dont! You were just serving you country

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(917): View more from New York City

and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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(647): View more from Ontario

i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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(253): View more from Washington

Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.

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(404): View more from Georgia

So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?

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