butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We left the knife in your bed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
