I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
