Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
