Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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