just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
