I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
