You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
