Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
