ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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