you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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